Reader Response Draft #1:
In the article "The Perils of Over-sharing in Social Network, Emm (2014) states that over-reliance on the internet makes us susceptible to unwarranted threats to personal and organizational security. Many people post online to notify their social circles about their whereabouts, which also increases the accessibility to one's private information. The growing trend poses a risk to not only oneself, but also to their company's image, should they divulge their organization's information. The author suggests users to enhance their device and internet security and to be wary of what one shares on social media.
Emm started off the article addressing the issue of privacy invasion due to the government's omnipresence online. As people exchange emails and surf the internet, they are being tracked of their activities. The term "Big Brother is watching you" has then been formulated, encapsulating the idea of the government snooping behind the screens of the citizens. While such actions are taken to ensure the safety of the people, the issue of individual rights to privacy still persists. This hot debate and never-ending struggle to find the delicate balance between privacy and personal security continues to exist as long as there is dependability on the internet.
Even though the government gets hold of our personal information under surveillance, they are not the most threatening parties online. Cyber-criminals are the ill-intended ones that internet users have to be truly wary of. These tech-related criminals are seeking out for loopholes and vulnerabilities that are shared online by careless and unaware users and they would jump at the opportunity to hack into accounts and important information like PIN number.
As the title of the article speaks, the brag culture pervades the era we are in now, living with the phenomenon of "pictures or it didn't happen". Popular social media apps like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have made us obsessed about how we appear to everyone else, busying ourselves by narrating to our online audience instead of living in the moment. Such "normal" and seemingly harmless behavior are, in fact, inviting danger upon ourselves as it results in easy access to our private information and allow others to sneak into our lives
Although I am aware of the existence of threats lurking on the internet, I have not completely understood the full extent of the risks involved in sharing online. Indulging in such instant gratification as I share a story or a photo with my friends online, I have never thought of the possibility of such mishaps striking on me. While it may be shallow of one to think it would be highly unlikely for such an unfortunate event to occur to oneself, it does not hurt to exercise precautionary steps to minimize the possibility of it happening. The extensive but non-exhaustive list of measures recommended by Emm could be use as guidelines to safeguard our online personal protection.
However, the threats lurking on the internet is, in fact, a reflection of reality. While many have said that internet is a dangerous platform that allows anyone and everyone to view your profiles, it can, in fact, happen off the internet too. Crimes such as bank robbery and burglary still happens, even not within the context of cyberspace. Such dangers are comparable and the threats and risks that are posed by such corruptions - online or offline - are legitimate concerns to everyone. Hence, the article written by Emm accentuates the perils of the internet, while disregarding the crimes that could occur without the use of the internet.
References:
Emm, D. (2014). The Perils of Over-sharing in Social Networks. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/david-emm/the-perils-of-over-sharing-in-social-networks_b_5005276.html
ReplyDeleteHi Aiysah,
Some general comments
The transition from the authors stand to yours isn't stated clearly
- Therefore, paragraphs 2 - 4 seems like an elaboration upon the authors idea, rather than your own.
- There is a lack of connecting text, to ensure coherence in your paragraph, as well as linking it back to the claims made in the first paragraph.
- In your conclusion, you provided a new argument of the presence of offline threats. It would be better if it were mentioned earlier. This point could also be better developed. The last paragraph has not bridged the gap between offline and online threats.
- You could also focus on a single idea from the author rather than try to address all issues. The discussion seems to be brief and could be covered in greater depth.
Language-
You could be mindful of the consistency in the use of tense throughout the response.
Cheers,
Jannie and Boon
ReplyDeleteHi Aiysah,
Some general comments
The transition from the authors stand to yours isn't stated clearly
- Therefore, paragraphs 2 - 4 seems like an elaboration upon the authors idea, rather than your own.
- There is a lack of connecting text, to ensure coherence in your paragraph, as well as linking it back to the claims made in the first paragraph.
- In your conclusion, you provided a new argument of the presence of offline threats. It would be better if it were mentioned earlier. This point could also be better developed. The last paragraph has not bridged the gap between offline and online threats.
- You could also focus on a single idea from the author rather than try to address all issues. The discussion seems to be brief and could be covered in greater depth.
Language-
You could be mindful of the consistency in the use of tense throughout the response.
Cheers,
Jannie and Boon